pirates...

It draws a bitter laugh, even now, to think that I was ever so naive.

On the merits of public display...

...or, why arguing with yourself is pointless.

Exhibit A: last night

What is the point of a public blog exactly?

Umm...so that other people can see what I'm thinking.

Ohh, right, like they care.

They might!

They don't, trust me.

Fine. Then it's for me, so I can say what I want to, when I want to.

But you don't.

Yes I do. I do!

No. That's the problem with anything public, you will never ever say the full and complete truth as you see it. You just won't, it's a trait that society had built into you.

Maybe that's true.

It is true. You can either be nice and dance around what you are really thinking and people will like you, or you can say what you think as you think it and people will hate you for the truth. Because no one, no one, wants to hear the truth, no matter what they say.

Besides the fact that there IS no one truth--perception is everything, don't forget--I say what I think. I just write whatever and force myself not to care that it can be seen as it is, sucky or not. If I let it matter, I wouldn't do it. And I'd never get anywhere, would I?

You might. Just look at GBS. He spent his whole life saying what he thought was the truth, and everyone loved him for it.

He was brilliant. I am just me.

Isn't that good enough?

Sometimes I think it is.

What if you took a risk here?

Like?

Write like you write in the blue notebook. Write like no one will see it.

I can't do that.

Why?

You know why.

Yes. I do. And that's exactly why you should.

words like bread crumbs

we all do it.
drop words everyday
like tiny little bread crumbs,
hoping that someone will pick up on our trail
and care enough to follow, care enough
to grab us
and bring us
home...

does anyone ever, though?
really?

we use words like
hints
like daggers
like something to barter with...

to get what we want with...

to hurt other people with.

and then we drop our bread crumbs
and want back
what
we
had.

good answer

i'm a codfish...

not really...

hey bill, where's your blog? what a waste of cyberspace, you should use it...lol

and let me see...

more things should be

free.