You know you're an anguisette WHEN...

--you like it when you can't sit down for a week.
--the best part of your day involves a razor.
--the phrase "No pain, no gain" takes on a whole new meaning.
--your Cassiline lover has to learn to make gentleness torturous.
--your favorite rosebush is also your favorite bed.
--your job requires you to sleep around and change history, and both are vitally important.
--having saltwater rubbed into your wounds is paying homage to your god.
--when getting a whipping for cleaning your mistress' room is enjoyable.
--you start getting a fondness for fireplace pokers.
--the only cruel and unusual punishment for you is no punishment at all.
--the bite of the tatooist's (marquist's) needles sends shivers of pleasure through your body.
--you can go straight to the Man Upstairs. Or Downstairs, as it may be.
--the sight of your own blood means foreplay has begun.
--your pain tolerance is comparable to most NFL players.
--you say "Bite me!" because you hope someone will.
--having cold steel w/ protrusions shoved up your ass makes you cry - with joy.
--you can go to bed for politics and it's not tabloid news.
--you like the comingled taste of blood and semen.
--your sheets are red, and they didn't start that way.
--your dreams are of iron and blood.
--you miss the agony of a torturing lover.
--sound of sharpening knives makes your breath short and your pulse race.
--the crack of a whip causes a red haze to color your vision and the sensation of bronze angels' wings to run along your skin.
--being paraded about half-naked on a leash is excellent foreplay.
--you say "whip me, spank me, make me write bad cheques" and mean it.
--the Yeshuites have started giving you frequent-customer discounts. "Oi, it's the Comtesse again..."
--you know the name and use of every sex toy...large or small...probably in the whole world.
--you have become incapable of simple chat about the weather without reading five different meanings into it.
--you can say you're 'special' and really, really mean it.
--you can wake up and have no clue where you are without having to get completely wasted first.
--your favorite people are those who "Make love like they hunt boar".